我不够优秀

这一次的实习，我该怎么说好呢？
因为埋藏在心底的那种心情，是失望的吧。

我为着我的失误，真的觉得很愧疚。
因为，那是我的错。
十天的实习，真的很煎熬，每一天，我都在战战兢兢的渡过。

我害怕我会做不好，我害怕被责备。

会不会有那么一天，我能像其他人一样，一样很优秀？

那段少了文字的日子

我发现，身边能倾诉的对象真的好少。
也许，我又在搞自闭了吧。


有时候，就算我翻遍了整个电话录，但，我还是找不到能说话的人。
有时候，真的只想找个人说说话，聊聊天。
就算是废话，但我还是会很开心的回话。

成绩出来了，距离理想的程度，真的差好远。
我真的好差劲。

也许是我自己不够努力吧。
又或许是我自己太笨了吧。

种种的借口，我就暂时借来安慰自己好了。

Damn, you are such a shit

Hey, can you imagine when a shit smells like a shit and someone says it smells like perfume?

Seriously I can't figure out how can a shit is to be transformed to become a perfume.

But, I know who manage to do that.
The one and only ones.


The bedsheet, is the cheapest with bad quality but she claimed that it's high density!
'Owh...darling, you are so caring...'

But, guess what, I would rather say,
'Hey, keep it for yourself, bitc*'

Again, yesterday, I truly wanna show her my pretty fingers off to her.
My little fingers, preferably the middle ones.
I don't meant to be rude, but the message she sent to me yesterday is crap!

8/6/2012, Fiday
'can you return call to me after class. Aldy help you find someone to take over your room. Do you think you can move out by 22nd July, Sunday. Aunt **'

Help me? Owh...thanks for that huh! But you are the most beneficial ones in this agreement, ain't you? 

9/6/2012, Saturday
'Sorry to let you know that the tenantjust told me that he only want to move out in 1st Aug so look like you need to talk to your new landlord to ask for late move in. Every one since to change their mind so fast so I better get them to sign and commit in writing. Aunt **'

Owh, darling, you are such a crap in my eyes... ... you are the one who ask me to move out early, then, what now?! What the hell! You are now making fool and playing words with me huh? #&*%

 

eat, pray, love

Eat, Pray, Love

This is a movie I wished to watch long time ago.
Thanks God, I watched it yesterday.

But i stopped watching after 2 hours passed.
Forgive me, because the story was truly long.
And, I was impatient to finish it as well.

The lady, Liz, who came from New York has travelled to Italy, Rome, India, Bali and other places (perhaps, which I might have missed out) after her divorced.

Just like what Ketut, the old man had told her.
She will experience two marriages, a long ones and the short ones.
In that period of time, she will lost everything of hers.
And, the prophecy on her was true.

She ended her first marriage.

Had a ultimately short affair, but, it ends up with a broken heart.

Love is patient, and it is true.
When you start to regret, you are meant to have lost something.
So do I.

Someday later, I shall be just like her, travelling all around the world.
Learning foreign languages and speaks like the locals do.

Perhaps, it might be a plan of mine 10 years later.
Who knows?

God knows. 

都该结束了

最近这两天，我的脾气简直坏到了极点。
但是听见妈妈对我撒娇的声音，我真的很开心，
心中的悲愤也终于释放了少许。

面对狡猾的agent和老狐狸包租婆，说真的，我不够她们厉害精明，

毕竟她们吃的盐比我还多（简直就是两只千年老妖精了啦），

所以论样貌、资历、身材和计谋，

我承认，我确确实实输给了她们。

但是，若你们真要跟我玩耐心，我说，我绝对会奉陪到底。


昨天，前天，我真的睡得很好。
因为，我不再把你放在心上，而我对你真的麻木了。
当初，我是多么地热血想要拯救你。
大家都努力去关心你、问候你， 因为我们希望着有一天，
我们能够慢慢走进你的世界，但是，原来我们都错了。

真没想到我会以责骂来结束我对你的关心，
而我真的很累了，再也不想说些什么了。

因为是时候我该放过我自己了。


 

  

难道当初的决定错了吗？我后悔了

你擅自的决定，连累了我你知道吗？

我一直想让你忍多几个月，可你那天擅自跟房东说搬走的决定，让我真的真的很火大。而我想要拿回定金的想法也随之破灭了...

说真的，我很无奈，也很无助。

也许，我曾经想过要搬走，想着该如何摆离她的唠叨，
但是，你知道吗，那只不过是在我脑里闪过的想法而已。
而我，并没真正想过我要搬...
搬来搬去真的很烦人，而那一次的经验，一次就有够我怕了。

虽说她很烦，但，我不在意啊，难道说我搬去别的地方情况就会好转了吗？

若真如此，那我就真的太天真无知了。


既然当初找到房子的人是我，所以要怪，就怪我自己好了。

昨天，我还真是发飙了。
对无理取闹的人，我真的受够了。


今天的心，沉进了低谷